If any be blameless, the husband of
one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
It is interesting to note that the first
characteristic of a potential elder was that he needed to be blameless. To be
blameless does not mean that elders are to be flawless. We are blameless not
because we never make a mistake but when we do make mistakes we have the honesty
and humility to confront our errors and acknowledge our wrongs; not pointing
the finger and blaming others. Blameless is a word which includes the attitude
of a man, not simply his actions. It is the posture of a man who walks in humility
and integrity, keeping short accounts with others. If I have done something wrong
and do not confess it, I can be blamed, but if I confess and accept
responsibility for the sin, I cannot be blamed for it. There is an example in
the book of Galatians that bears this out. Paul says that when he came to
Jerusalem he withstood Peter to his face for he was to be blamed. Apparently, Peter
was acting in a hypocritical way and Paul called him out for it. If Peter had
already dealt with it previously, he could not be blamed. Blame is the word
which denotes responsibility. When I take the blame for something, I assume
responsibility for it and bear the brunt of any consequences or repercussions.
A blameless man, then, is not a perfect man but one who accepts responsibility
for his actions and does not blame others or pass the buck, so to speak. One
excellent minister to men said it this way, ‘Maturity does not come with age;
it comes with the acceptance of responsibility. That is why some men are mature
at seventeen and others are immature at seventy’.
Isn’t it instructive that the very first
quality that Titus is encouraged to look for in an elder is this quality of
responsibility? Leadership is first and foremost a position of responsibility. Paul
immediately connects the responsibility of leadership to the home and the
priority of family life. The elder is to be the husband of one wife. To get
married is a relatively easy thing to do, to be a husband is not. The word husband
is not, necessarily, a noun but a verb; it describes the role that a married man
assumes. He is the husband to his wife. There are several possibilities when
searching for the root of this English word husband. Some have suggested two
possibilities for its origin; house-bound or house-bond, and others have said
it comes from house-band. All three suggestions and perspectives are interesting
and informative.
At a time in history when men did as they
pleased and roamed as they willed, the term house-bound takes on special
meaning. A husband would no longer do as he saw fit or leave as he so decided
but he would now be house-bound. He would stay near his new home and take responsibility
for its safety and the family’s provision. The wanderer has now put down roots;
he has become a husband, bound to the house by a powerful commitment and,
consequently, he will no longer act independently at his own whim, or with only
his own welfare in mind.
In a culture when women and children had no
one to speak for them or no one to ensure their safety, the expression
house-bond is descriptive and illustrates another aspect of the role the
married man would take. He would become the bond or the guarantee that his wife
and children would be defended and protected. His word was his bond. He gave
his word in a vow before God and witnesses so now all those that belong to the
house are assured of security.
In the social order of Titus’ day, the
family life had no priority and there was no binding strength to hold people
together, the designation house-band gives us further insight into the crucial function
of a husband. He would be the band of strength wrapped around hearth and home,
thus fulfilling a dual task; warding off dangerous elements from the outside
and simultaneously protecting the precious treasure within.
In a world that did not value the
sacredness of monogamy, not only should the elder be a husband, but he would
also have a loyalty and commitment to his one and only wife. To qualify as one
of God’s leaders, the ability to vow and keep oneself, for one woman alone,
would be of utmost significance.
When looking for men to fulfill positions
of leadership in the church, we are to look for those who have the spirit of a
husband; one who has put down roots, a man of integrity, a protector of the
vulnerable and a loyal, one-woman sort of man.
